hey,

wish i had made it to snowballs chance. however, mixing Brothers and the Gay 90s together friday night was a recipe for trouble. i should have seen it coming.

you know, i've heard a lot of my buddies talk about how much fun the 90s is, and it turns out they were right. that place is wild. It even comes complete with a gay porno bar and male strippers. it kind of makes the Meet Rack look like a huge poser. yikes. anyway, we spent most of our time in the main dance hall, and i remember being very intoxicated and dancing shirtless with kavi onstage. yikes again. There were definately some awkward moments, being a straight guy in a gay bar and all. The first good surprise was when i was peeing at the urinal and i realized the guy washing his hands next to me was not actually washing his hands, but was leaning over the divider staring at my dick. I tried to play it cool of course, but when he followed me out of the bathroom and across the dance hall i had to play my last card and went straight into the arms of my buddy matt. one lesbian told matt that, me and him were, "just the cutest couple." matt also danced shirtless onstage with a gay guy for a while, he seemed to enjoy it. his girlfriend did too. after the 90s shut down at 2:00, i think we went to some guys apartment for awhile. not sure. then we had to fit 8 people into a pontiac grand prix. matt and i, being the drunkest, volunteered for the trunk. let me tell you, if you are in the mafia and looking for a car with enough trunk room to fit more than a couple of bodies, the pontiac grand prix is not the car for you. i nearly passed out on the trip back from asphyxiation. got home around 3:30 am, vomitted into a grocery bag, fell asleep, woke up, vomitted two more times into a plastic bag. got up for good at 6:30 pm saturday. missed snowballs chance by a bunch of hours.

ed

I love my neighborhood. Someone seems to be siphoning gas around here. I'm not even kidding. Also, either a pack of hobos have invaded or someone really enjoys leaving shopping carts in the ally. Every day another is deposited in the alley, just like the daily piles of shit being deposited by one of our neighbors dogs. Sheesh.

In other news, we finally took down our christmas tree, and Kavi got clothslined by a cab driver after he tried to make a run for it instead of paying. After Kavi got decked, the cabby tried to drag him back to the cab. Kavi did what anyone would do in his situation - he spred his arms and legs as wide as possible to make himself hard to drag. Good thinking.

Homework time.

Ed

i don't live in the ghetto but...

our house has been robbed twice, my car has been robbed once, and we just heard 4 gunshots followed by a car peeling out...

anyway, as some of you know i have a new car after my old trustworthy camry died in the middle of a busy intersection last spring. now i drive an old acura integra of unknown age. List of current problems with the new car:

1. The brakes shudder occasionally
2. There are a series of cracks in the windshield propagating across the width of the car
3. The car gets stuck in park. Sometimes the wait is 15 seconds, sometimes 3 minutes
4. When the gas tank gets low on fuel, the pressure builds in the tank and the car refuses to start unless you depressurize the tank by unscrewing the gas cap.
5. There is a short circuit in the engine and a fan turns on in the middle of winter to cool down the car, while the car is off, until the battery runs out.
6. Sometimes the automatic seat belt doesn't release tension and just tries to strangle you.
7. The back seat is covered in chain grease.
8. Rust.
9. The vents spit out fine to medium sized particles at passengers.
10. Sometimes the front driver's side tire goes flat.
11. The driver's side door lock doesn't work from the outside.
12. The headlights are so dim I only feel comfortable driving at night when there's a full moon.
13. The key pretty much always refuses to come out of the ignition when the car is cold. Sometimes the wait is two minutes, sometimes 20. Sometimes I don't know how long the wait is because I just leave the car with the key stuck in the ignition, doors unlocked, hoping someone will steal it.

That's pretty much it. As long as I bring along my portable charger, I can feel reasonably sure that I'll make it home. If not I can always walk, as long as it's not further than uptown of course.

Ed